Oasis

 It's the first day of Spring and I'm already in a foul mood as I walk to work in the morning. On the side of the Plaid Pantry, someone has written CASTS THEIR HERPES in large block letters. I have no idea what the hell it means, and if I was feeling better maybe I'd find such a Dada-esque non-sequitur amusing, but as it is, I'm irritated by it. I'm so sick of all the bullshit, the chaos, the random idiocy of everyday life. I want life to make sense. I long for order, for at least the illusion of meaningfulness. I yearn to feel like I possess some understanding of how other people think and behave. Instead those humans laugh and mock me with  CASTS THEIR HERPES before I've even had my morning coffee. Maybe it's a private joke or code. Maybe it's some pop cuture reference I'm just not getting. Maybe someone will read it and smile and nod knowingly. Or maybe it's meaningless garbage and any attempt to communicate with humans is a sad joke and anyone who thinks otherwise is a sucker. On the way home I pass the wall again and realize that it doesn't read CASTS THEIR HERPES at all. It actually reads OASIS THER HERPES, which somehow makes even less sense. The one thing that remains consistent is the herpes, which seems appropriate. I cannot  fucking wait to return to my home planet.