Bad News

It’s a different assistant. It’s always a different assistant. This one looks like a male model. He carries himself like he’s striking poses. He leads me into what I assume was, until recently, a storage closet. There is barely room for the two of us. A folding screen does not quite hide a pile of boxes of toilet paper and cleaning supplies. The assistant rips my bandage off a little too enthusiastically and suddenly there is blood everywhere, dripping all over the linoleum. The assistant casts a sultry eye across the pile of supplies on the tiny counter but does not see what he wants. “I’ll be right back,” he breathes, and slips away.  The blood looks too bright and there’s too much of it for such a tiny hole. I feel a little light headed.

He arrives with some rolls of gauze and tape, which there seem to be plenty of on the counter already. Because the doctor is going to be looking at it in a few minutes, he wraps my foot very loosely. The wrapping falls off almost immediately. He picks it up from the floor and put it back on my foot. “The doctor won’t be long,” he says, and is gone. 

The doctor arrives and says he has some bad news. This will be the last time he sees me as he is leaving the hospital. I ask if he’s leaving to join a traveling band of acrobats. He says no. He says he will put me in the very capable hands of one of the other podiatrists. I make the mistake of asking him how long he thinks it’ll be until I can walk again. He gives me a rough estimate that is around three times as long as I was hoping. I know I should know better than to hope at this point, but even so I can feel a little part of me I didn’t know was even still intact become crushed as he says this. The good news is he doesn’t seem concerned about the blood. “Blood is good, blood means the flesh is healthy,” he says without enthusiasm. He wraps it up tight so I don’t bleed all over the place, and leaves without saying goodbye. I make an appointment to see the new doctor and on the way home I see a woman standing in the middle of the street with skin like leather, wearing nothing but a diaper.  Cars stop for her and she strides across confidently, very focused on wherever it is she’s going.