The Bullet Weighs More Than the Gun

You wanted it to shatter you,
as it had already once before
back before you cobbled yourself
back together, before you pasted
and spackled and glued and wound
yourself with tape like bandages,
back when you were a solid mass,
uncracked, unblemished,
counting down the days before
you would explode.
And now you want it to happen again,
you want to trace the steps
of the annihilation dance.
You want to feed your shards
to the ravenous wind.
Here, put out your hand. Feel that weight.
Feel how little it would take

And it would take everything