Very Fine People on Both Sides

Here come the fuckerbells,
the wingtarts, the zagnuts
Here come the fartlickers
and tithonkers. The goose suckers,
the pussy slappers.
Please, greet them with a mild smile
and albatross arms. 
Massage their cobalt taints, tarantula their scalps,
Squeeze oily tinctures and soothing ointments
across their bedbug freckles.
Polish their waxy foreheads,
squeeze their ruby blemishes
until they gleam.
If they hand you a book, and they will,
do not attempt to open it.
If they pass a greasy sack, don't peek inside,
no matter how enticing the smell.
In their minds, they are already busy munching
on what's left of your dignity.
For now, just smile
and gingerly shake their paw
when they extend it
and look forward to the day
when you can pick their hairy rat tails
from between your teeth.

I don't usually let myself want you
But today I miss my muse so hard
Your dark eyes, your warm lips,
Your dizzying breasts
I miss being inspired by you
Drawing you
Writing you poems
It's taking all my strength
To resist sending you a letter
Not a text or email; no,
I want to give you something
To hold in your hands,
Something you will touch
The way I wish I was touching you
Gently tearing open
Your envelope
I should mail you something
To put in your mouth
To melt on your tongue
A dollop of chocolate,
A pack of gum
That you can absently chew 
As you stare at your phone,
Scrolling through photos
Of all the guys
Whose muse you long to be